UPS, how I love you, but you freaked me out this time
So Last Halloween, (Around Oct 15th 2004) I came home from work and to my excitement, had a "Sorry We Missed you, be back tomorrow" note on my door from UPS. I started thinking of all the things it could be.... Maybe something i bought off ebay and had forgot about. Maybe something I had returned and the company was finally replacing... I had no idea what it was, BUT I WANTED IT. So I left the note saying please leave it at the Wiltbanks, my dear neighbors who take pity on the stupid single guy going to a married family ward, and do nice things for me. I was so anxious to get my package that I left work early, and headed straight for the Wiltbanks house. When I knocked on the door, and asked Marcie for the package, I totally acted like I knew what it was, and had been expecting it for weeks, real business like, but when she handed it to me and closed the door, I took off running for my apartment. I ran in the door, and downstairs, and for the first time looked at the lable, To my dismay, it was not for me, it was for some guy who had lived there years ago.
Well I was pissed, and let the box sit by my door till just before Christmas, with the hopes the UPS would pass by, and I would run out and return the package. They never did, and i was too lazy to drive to the UPS Store, come on its three blocks away, and I am lazy. So at Christmas I moved the box to the upstairs hallway while cleaning the house for my wassle party. Well it sat there for a couple of weeks, and last night my curiousty got the best of me. Yes, I know its illegal, and I will most likely end up in hell, but after opening it, I realized there was no way that anyone was ever going to admit that they purchased this so no one would ever care that I had opened it.
I have attached a picture, just scroll down. I hope you do not consider this porn, but please be aware, it is for adult eyes only. No minors please!
Yep its a set, or pair, or whatever of fake boobs. Things that make you go hmmm.
I must say I was taken aback for sure! Large Tube Top, in case you can not read it, it says "Natural Latex" "Foam Filled" And my most favorite part "MADE IN THE USA" Oh the pride that is boasted in me!
So many questions are running through my mind, some appropriate, some not really. The hows, and the whys, some I may never be able to answer, and maybe when I get married others will be.
So now the question is do I send them back because you know that guy aint calling me and asking for his fake boobs.
Well I was pissed, and let the box sit by my door till just before Christmas, with the hopes the UPS would pass by, and I would run out and return the package. They never did, and i was too lazy to drive to the UPS Store, come on its three blocks away, and I am lazy. So at Christmas I moved the box to the upstairs hallway while cleaning the house for my wassle party. Well it sat there for a couple of weeks, and last night my curiousty got the best of me. Yes, I know its illegal, and I will most likely end up in hell, but after opening it, I realized there was no way that anyone was ever going to admit that they purchased this so no one would ever care that I had opened it.
I have attached a picture, just scroll down. I hope you do not consider this porn, but please be aware, it is for adult eyes only. No minors please!
Yep its a set, or pair, or whatever of fake boobs. Things that make you go hmmm.
I must say I was taken aback for sure! Large Tube Top, in case you can not read it, it says "Natural Latex" "Foam Filled" And my most favorite part "MADE IN THE USA" Oh the pride that is boasted in me!
So many questions are running through my mind, some appropriate, some not really. The hows, and the whys, some I may never be able to answer, and maybe when I get married others will be.
So now the question is do I send them back because you know that guy aint calling me and asking for his fake boobs.
posted by Cameron H at 6:17 AM
7 Comments:
I think you should try and track this guy down because I bet he needs those. Or sell them on E-Bay.
Did you touch them? Can you slip it on, like a real tube top? If you can maybe you should put it on… you know to see what it is like to be a woman.
If it is UPS is it still considered mail? Is it still a federal offence? They are not a government entity so I wonder if you would really be held accountable for tampering with this mail.
BTW… why the lies… just admit the boobs are yours.
Marcy: Do you think I really want to track down a guy who orders fake boobs? I would prefer to NEVER meet that guy.
Becca: Did I touch them? What do you think? Think about Natural Latex? I am kind of new to this stuff, but I dont think skin feels anything like latex. LIes? They are mine? Lets think about this, THey are the "Larges" I would not know what to do with the smalls, so why would I order large?
dsquare: I have considered EBAy, just not sure what my buy it know price would be. As to the gift idea, I work with a bunch of dirty pervs, the last thing I need to do is add fuel to the fire with a fake set of Large Boobs. I have considered giving it as a white elphant gift at christmas next year. Unless you are interested? what do you say $50?
That is the BEST story I have EVER heard. No seriously, could there be a better punch line than fake boobs, and not only faek boobs, but fake boobs meant for a MAN to put on. I'm dying here! You are the luckiest guy EVA! Such good blog fodder...
How about all of you pony up the money, I am will try them on and send everyone a picture of me?
OH MY WORD! That is just the FUNNIEST story I've heard in a long time. Holy cow!!!
Oh, thanks for the laugh, Cam...
well, blow me down and call me shorty. somebody came in my room while i was sleeping and made a mold of my breasts and is now marketing them to people all over the US?!
Post a Comment
<< Home